I am assuming you have heard the story. Over a couple of weeks ago a girl in New Delhi was raped so brutally that she has now died from her injuries. She was raped by 6 people, with the driver driving the bus. I will not go into the details- this all is now common knowledge.
What shocks me in this whole affair is not the fact of rape (there is no shortage of rape in India), but the degree of violence with which the crime was perpetuated. It points towards something much deeper than just gender issues or respect for women. It seems to indicate a sense of frustration and anger. A degree of anger that permeates them completely to ignore the screams of another being, to just get lost in the sheer delight of taking out that violence. This is not just about respect to women, but about a frustrated and angry society. Make no mistake, in India there is minimal respect for women. But a lack of respect for women should not (and does not) manifest in the form of crime or violence. It manifests itself in society as a collective effort to prevent the rise of women- by dismissing and ignoring them.
Violence towards women is the product of a lack of respect COMBINED with an unnatural degree of anger and frustration. Respect towards women gets enough attention as it is- it is the deeper problem of anger and frustration in society that I want to talk about.
Look around you everywhere! Every segment of society in India is angry and frustrated- because nothing changes here. Generation after generation of people are powerless to do anything. Nobody in this country can seem to make decent headway against the creative inertia that exists here. The forces working to keep things as they are are almost insurmountable.
Think about it- in 100 years since the first British census, the percentage of people relatively poor, the number of people involved in agriculture has changed as little as it could have without moving backwards all the time.
Yes, there is a little more money overall now than then, but the distribution and the degree of relative poverty has remained unchanged. Coupled with a gutless and spineless middle class and the fact that while money is everything is this country- it achieves nothing. For all the money in the world, even the most well meaning people cannot change anything. And even the richest politician very frankly, has no real power. It is like a cage slowly getting smaller and smaller- and the people inside it getting bigger does not help.
When I talk to people, the first thing I notice is that it is an estrogenous society. What I mean is that men here look like women, gossip and are always complaining, always angry, never happy; trying to place blame on everything around them.
Do not misconstrue what I am saying as a statement against women. It is a statement against excess estrogen- and women are not supposed to have excess estrogen. Nobody is supposed to have excess estrogen. Very frankly if you look at female and male creatures in the wild, they are not that different- even in terms of physical powerless, but that is another debate. The point is that everybody here lacks the drive and ambition that is associated with the adogenous hormones- progesterone and testosterone are the big ones. Why does this happen? Because the drive and ambition has been crushed out of them.
It is a society that looks down upon every kind of ambition other than academic ambition and very frankly, even that is heavily tampered. It is bad to think big, it is bad to take risks, it is bad to be unemotional, it is bad to be emotional, it is a sin to be horny and it is a sin to be materialistic.
All because of the collective conviction that nothing can change- to the point that no one really wants to change anymore. And generation after generation people think they are changing, but they are really not.
The protests going on now are asking men to be men. But to be fair, what does it mean to be a man? It means ambition, drive and the ability to take responsibility. In a society where ambition is a sin and nothing you do is going to change anything for yourself or anyone else anyway, its easy to see it is impossible to be a man.
Imagine a fulfilled man- a man who is working towards his objectives with reasonable success, a man who is motivated and happy and can take responsibility for what he does. Will this man ever have the inclination to be violent or commit rape? No, because he is actually a man.
A lot of people try to blame the media with its degree of nudity for the lack of respect Indians have for women. I can't even count the number of holes in this theory.
First of all, if that is objectification, every man who tries to impress women with money or muscles or success is promoting the objectification of men. Just on different lines.
Then there are the facts- both men and women get (and should get) horny. The fact that society here does not talk about female libido is in fact highly disturbing. If you can accept that men get horny, so can women. Getting horny is not that same thing as getting the drive for rape. Ordinary sexual desire is always associated with the need for emotional proximity and company- stuff which you are most certainly not going to get from rape, these things are most certainly good things. It is when a person is frustrated and angry to begin with that sexual desire leads to violence and rape.
Even eve teasing for that matter is because of a degree of frustration. And cracking unsavory jokes should not be confused with eve teasing. That is just familiarity with the person, the way men express closeness. Again, not even in the same plane as rape.
And frankly, in ordinary circumstances where women were equals and everyone was happy, such jokes would be appreciated.
Last but not the least, there are places in the world where the degree of public nudity is far more than that present in India. Do those places have more rape? No, in fact they have much less. This is partly because people there are desensitized towards nudity. They have just seen so many half nude people it does not effect them any more. The deeper reason why there is lesser rape is because the society is not angry or frustrated.
A lot of people say Indian men are sick. Actually Indian men are angry, frustrated, violent and cynical. They are not any more horny than any other people. It is the combination that is alarming.
So what is to be done? I am not sure, but I will venture my opinion.
I remember reading the words of a great sportsman. He grew up in a place where he felt suffocated. He starting working out and here is what he said-
". . in 2-3 years I had realized I had managed to change my body completely. And this gave me confidence. If with dedicated systematic effort I could change my body completely, I could change anything. My outlook, my emotional palate, everything. I felt powerful. I knew I would get out of here and become great. And I did. . "
It is not just him, but throughout history physical development has been the method through which men have fulfilled themselves. It has been the method through which men have destroyed their frustrations and realized their potential for betterment for years. Even in prisons across the world, trouble is avoided by inculcating a degree of physical work.
Imagine if every good for nothing neighborhood bum you knew had started working out. In a few years they would have understood how much power they have. They would not get into trouble and find direction and motivation in their lives. More importantly, they will understand how to gradually and progressively work towards their goals. They will learn the art of systematically approaching all their problems in life. And they would not be frustrated anymore. And who knows, because of the better body they might just get girlfriends, cultivate maturity and develop responsible relationships.
I think the inclusion of compulsory physical development (Not Labor) in schools across the country will do wonders for Indian society. Fulfillment through academics is becoming very very hard, considering the sheer number of students and the lack of avenues for quality education, not to mention not everybody is gifted at getting marks. Maybe just if there where more avenues through which people could fulfill themselves, our country would be a much better place.
My plan B is compulsory military service.
Be Strong
Know exactly what you want, expect greatness from yourself, work hard and be confident. Never believe all the negativity and mediocrity society feeds you. Take risks and be who you are- take the first step to constant self improvement. Engage your body and your mind, train your bones to be strong and everything in life will become simpler. Every small gain will make the world so much more purposeful and understandable. Work hard, be strong and do the best you can.
Monday 31 December 2012
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